Larry Ellison is now worth $393 billion, making him richer than Elon Musk. The 81-year-old Oracle founder gained $100 billion in a single day Wednesday because his company's stock went nuts over AI contracts. One hundred billion. In one day. While Americans are sleeping in cars because they can't make auto loan payments.

Oracle's stock had its biggest jump since 1992 after announcing four multibillion-dollar contracts. Ellison owns most of the company, so his wealth shot past Musk's pathetic $385 billion. These numbers are so absurd they've lost meaning. It's Monopoly money for people who already won the game decades ago.

Ellison's story reads like a Silicon Valley fever dream. Founded Oracle in 1977 with two partners, got a CIA contract to build a database called "Oracle," went public in 1986, and has been printing money ever since. Now AI companies need data centers, Oracle has them, and Ellison's wealth explodes like he hit a cosmic lottery.

The guy owns 98% of Lanai, Hawaii's sixth-largest island. He bought an entire islandThat's where Bill and Melinda Gates got married, back when Ellison was “only” worth $36 billion.

He plays with yachts like toys. He backed Oracle Team USA to win the America's Cup in 2013, then dissolved the team in 2017. He started SailGP in 2018, a racing league for millionaires' boats that somehow got Anne Hathaway and Kylian Mbappé as investors.

The Indian Wells tennis tournament? He revived it, nicknamed it the "fifth slam," and stuck a Nobu restaurant overlooking the courts. Nothing says tennis like $50 sushi rolls.

Politically, Ellison's exactly who you'd expect. He pours millions into Republican campaigns with $15 million to Tim Scott's presidential super PAC in 2022 as an example. He gave money to Marco Rubio in 2015. Now he's buddy-buddy with Trump, showing up at the White House with Sam Altman and Masayoshi Son to announce AI infrastructure projects.

In 2010, Ellison signed Bill Gates' Giving Pledge, promising to give away 95% of his wealth. Fifteen years later, he's worth eleven times more than when he signed it. The New York Times reported he "rarely engaged" with other pledge signers and doesn't want to support Gates' causes. He's now "amending" his pledge to fund his own technical institute at Oxford instead.

His big charitable focus? The Ellison Institute of Technology, which promises to save the world through "transforming healthcare," "combating world hunger," and "slowing climate change." The same promises every billionaire makes while their wealth keeps compounding faster than they can give it away.

Sure, he donated $200 million for a USC cancer center in 2016. That's generous until you realize he made 500 times that amount just on Wednesday. It's like you donating twenty bucks after winning ten grand at the casino.

The timing of this wealth explosion is particularly grotesque. While Ellison gained $100 billion in a day, the Consumer Federation of America is warning about record auto loan defaults. Americans owe $1.66 trillion in car debt. Teachers are sleeping in vehicles. But at least Oracle's AI contracts are doing great!

This is what late-stage capitalism looks like. One guy gains more wealth in 24 hours than entire countries produce in a year, because a number on a screen went up. He didn't invent anything new Wednesday. Didn't cure cancer. Didn't solve hunger. Instead, stock price moved, wealth exploded, and headlines celebrated.

Ellison's 81 years old. What's he going to do with $393 billion? Buy another island? More boats? Another tennis tournament? At some point, wealth accumulation becomes pathological. We passed that point about $390 billion ago.

The system that allows one person to gain $100 billion in a day while millions can't afford basic necessities isn't just broken - it's obscene. Ellison didn't earn that money Wednesday. Nobody earns $100 billion in a day. The market just decided his existing wealth should multiply, and boom, he’s now the world's richest person.

Congratulations, Larry. You won capitalism while the rest of us are just trying to make our car payments.

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